Entropy- A lack of pattern or organization. Disorder. The tendency for the universe to fall apart little by little.
It didn't take long at all for me to come up with a name for this blog. I remember my high school LDS Seminary teacher talking about entropy. I decided it was one of my favorite words right then. It perfectly describes why I am inconsistent!
My whole life, the biggest battle I have fought is the battle against inconsistency. I will seem to have everything going well, I'm on top of school, housework, parenting, scripture study, health, etc. then I suddenly realize I've lost my momentum. I try to look back and see what happened to mess me up. There isn't anything obvious. As I start adding it up in my mind I realize it was a bunch of little things that just threw me off.
- I didn't feel like cleaning up the small food spill after lunch. It wasn't much at all and I knew there would be more there after supper. I'd just get it all then. Before I realize it, there are a few days worth of "not much at all" and it takes me a good ten minutes to scrape and scrub it off. In which time, a mess is made somewhere else in the house. It would have taken a few seconds if I'd cleaned it up when it first happened.
- The assigned reading chapter was only two pages for the day. I decided I'd just add it to the eight page reading for the next day. The next day I get through a few pages and get distracted. I forget to finish up.
- I was exhausted so I didn't follow through on getting E to put away his toys. It was easier to do it myself. The next time, I did the same thing and after a while, he "forgets" that he needs to pick up.
- I was doing so well on working out and eating healthy. I decided to skip a night of working out because I was tired. We get a gift card for a restaurant and I order a dessert. Next thing I know, I'm eating sugar and skipping workouts. The things I was so proud of myself for have fallen out of my schedule and priorities again.
I can objectively see what I need to be doing. That's simple for me. But the motivation to keep doing what I know I need to be doing and not let it slide... that is SO hard! It seems like whenever I do keep it up for a while, little by little, my universe seems to fall into disorder.
The one word I want to describe my year is CONSISTENT. I'll settle for anything remotely close to that, but I want that to be the height I shoot for.